The thought of cartwheeling into bed fully dressed has its appeal. But I opt for the more responsible choice of washing my face, brushing my teeth, and putting on pajamas. This nighttime ritual is performed in haste, for taking too long has consequences. My dogs are needy but responsible for their own inner peace. As…

I arrive at Costco as soon as they open. Because bananas figure prominently at the top of my list, I immediately head to the produce section. With great trepidation, I cautiously round the corner as the yellow fruit comes into view. Surprisingly, no one is loitering in front of the bananas. With a full and…

Nothing says summer fun like driving in bumper-to-bumper traffic as millions of travelers hit the open road. Nothing says “I live in a vacation mecca” more than sitting in gridlock with gawking sightseers, returning snowbirds, and established residents just trying to make it through the day without incident. Preparing for my trip, I’ve packed all…

459 years ago, William Shakespeare was born. Brilliant poet, playwright, and actor. Bard of Avon. Bane of my existence. Shakespeare used Iambic pentameter in many of his sonnets and plays. The very thought gives me a headache. I was taught that you’re either a starry-eyed Shakespeare fan, or you politely pretend to enjoy his writings.…

Is it a coincidence that the acronym BM stands for both Belgian Malinois and Bowel Movement? I think not. The Malinois is a working breed and can power through pain for a very long time. This includes tummy trouble. Here at base camp Maligator, we operate on the theory of Fig Newton’s Law: What goes…

I recently unearthed boxes of long forgotten photos. After closely examining the hairstyles, I wish they’d stayed forgotten. Rarely attractive, often disturbing, these stylish coiffures once had an alluring charm. Early in my childhood, my hair was kept in a short, pixie cut. I was booted outside after breakfast and roamed our property like a…

Written from the privacy of an undisclosed hidey-hole, I’ve kept my peeves to ten, which seems like a respectable number. Any more, and this could be considered a manifesto. Or as I like to call them, Anneifestos. In no particular order, here we go… #1 Pick up after your dog. On a neighborhood stroll. In…

I wistfully recall when my home had lovely décor and I could leave personal items smattered about without fear of total annihilation. Now, cherished treasures and exquisite antiquities have either been stored for safekeeping, or sadly, did not survive many Malinois melees. Thanks to a pack of dysfunctional dogs, my home has been transformed from…

My mother had a quick wit and an even quicker temper. She fiercely protected her family, and her love for children and animals transcended all else. She adopted a mongrel puppy the year I was born; an unwanted runt of the litter that she bottle-fed alongside her human baby. Tippy was my first dog and…

If you’ve ever searched for an online recipe, you understand the level of commitment involved and are nodding in tacit agreement. People don’t give out recipes as freely as they once did. Now, you must work for it. To begin, scroll through pages of teasers. A partial recipe may be spotted early in the post.…